I found an interesting site this morning that has the funniest “bad” romance novel openings I’ve heard in a long time. The only reason I’m posting this is because I think writers need to know that readers pay close attention to that first line, first scene, first chapter so much that if they think the lines bad…everyone will know it by lunch because of how easy it is to be online…
Here’s an excerpt:
15.”He snapped my bra like a Concord taking off, and I was unhooked for love.”
14.”Yes, she was a woman who had once been a man, but she still knew how to flutter her eyelashes as well as those other hussies.”
13.”The heaving waves on the vast, ink-black ocean sent a salty spray over the proud bow of the three-masted ship, leaving beads of water on the exposed alabaster skin above the bodice of the tall, raven-haired woman who stood sobbing on the deck, her salty tears mixing with the storm-tossed sea.”
12.”Scarlet’s hair was as red as my persistent canker sore.”
11.”Nicole let the silk blouse fall from her shoulders, wrapped her left leg around James and deftly cut some cheese.”
10.”Robert was new at this prison thing, and he felt frightened and confused. But the moment he laid eyes on #472825994, he became a prisoner of love.”
9.”Sam liked to hump.”
8.”Though flanked by two swarthy state troopers, Paula found her gaze drawn to the chubby saxophonist.”
7.”It was a dark and horny night…”
For more you can go to: Mary Anne Mohanraj’s Site.
Keep a smile on…don’t take it too seriously, just learn from it I always say!
Heather R.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
That first one was GREAT. In fact they all are even better than these at Bulwer-Lytton.com.
Not sure why the link didn’t work in Kate R’s comment so here it is: http://www.bulwer-lytton.com
I hope that works now!
Heather R.